


i had all and then most of you (some and now none of you)

by orphan_account



Category: Original Work
Genre: Angst and Tragedy, Character Death, Gen, Random & Short, Suicide, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-05
Updated: 2020-06-05
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:27:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24553120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: "I did not lose his best friend overnight. I had lost him through the last texts we had exchanged. Through the way his posts no longer had both of us in it. Through the way my teachers asked me if I had been eating, sleeping. I lost him through the way I picked up my phone to call him, only to realize that he never loved me, that I miss him while he never missed me at all."
Relationships: Original Character/Original Character (unrequited)





	i had all and then most of you (some and now none of you)

**Author's Note:**

> T/W: Suicide

I looked at the way the sun shone on my best friend's face, the light glittering off teeth as he smiled. I looked at his eyes, sparkling with mirth and mischief. I looked at dimples sunk deep into the smooth curve of his cheek, and wished suddenly, _desperately_ that the moment would last forever. 

It did not, of course, and time continued to pass the moment by.

-

I dug his fingers into my chest so hard that the nails drew blood. Sobs wracked my body so hard I was certain that my lungs would jerk themselves out of my body and squelch onto the bathroom tiles in front of me.

I had known this moment was coming all along. However, it was not so much a single moment as a long, drawn out series of them, when I could barely feel the distance growing.

I did not lose his best friend overnight. I had lost him through the last texts we had exchanged. Through the way his posts no longer had both of us in it. Through the way my teachers asked me if I had been eating, sleeping. I lost him through the way I picked up my phone to call him, only to realize that he never loved me, that I missed him while he never missed me at all. 

-

His presence was always so very bright. It was like closing your eyes while facing the sun, yet still seeing a warm red glow behind your eyelids. His laugh, when genuine, reminded me of lazy days on the beach, of sticky summer days, of the feeling of ice cream cones in my hand

Long before I lost him, I knew that time was running out. It felt like the suffocating ooze of an approaching deadline, like the slow moving of a clock's hands behind you. It felt like watching the sea pull away from the shore and knowing it would always come back in. 

-

I close my eyes now, facing the sun and the warm red glow. 

I take a breath, and I fall.


End file.
